Oct. 20, 2021

Solo Parenting Seasons and How To Get Through Them

Even if our partners normally pull their weight, sooner or later most of us end up in a “solo parenting” season. Here’s how to deal with those extra-intense times, plus how to prevent the “non-integrated spouse” thing becoming the default reality.

"Solo parenting" isn't the same as single parenting– but when we're in it, it can sure feel pretty intense. Even if our partners are great at pulling their own weight, sooner or later most of us end up in a solo parenting season.

Our listener Michelle emailed us to say:

Can we talk about what parenting looks like when it feels almost single-handed? We all know how ridiculously demanding full-time jobs can be nowadays. Statistics show half of the population work more than 45 hours a week. How can a parent deal with feeling overwhelmed by all the parenting demands that ought to be shared by two parents– because one's partner, not by choice, has to work instead of parent?

It's worth doing the hard work of talking about it and pushing back against the default reality of the "non-integrated spouse." In this episode we discuss

  • how to deal with the resentment (pro tip: block the traveling spouse on social media)
  • how to lower your expectations during these seasons
  • how to push against "solo parenting" as a default setting even when the other parent is actually home
  • how asychronous communication can really help

Here are links to some of the things we discuss on this episode:

and our own episodes:

Fresh Take: Whitnee Hawthorne On Strategies For Working Moms

Dividing the Workload

Changing the Invisible Workload (with guest Eve Rodsky)

Special thanks to this month's sponsors:

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