Oct. 23, 2019

Changing the Invisible Workload (with guest Eve Rodsky)

If you make a list of all the stuff you do that your spouse has no idea happens, it will probably be very long and rage-inducing. So don’t stop there! Here’s how to redistribute the household workload for good. Guest Eve Rodsky, author of FAIR PLAY.


The "invisible workload" has become shorthand for the never-ending to-do list that moms keep in our heads-- because much of that work is invisible to the people we do it for, let alone the larger world.

That work falls to us because moms tend to be the default parent, whatever our outside-the-home workload (or that of our spouses) might be. Are you the one who leaves work when the baby throws up at day care? Do you know which closet the wrapping paper is in- and if you're almost out? Is it your calendar that keeps track of when your kid has to bring the snack for soccer? Yup, us too.

Most of us get majorly resentful about this invisible work. Some of us make lists of it all (to make it more visible). Those lists make us mad. Not very much changes. We start to think that this is just the way it has to be.

But we don't have to fall for the old chestnut that women are just better at multitasking, and so we might as well keep doing it all. As professor of neurogenetics Dr. Pat Levitt explains:

"I don't know of any research that shows women are better multitaskers than men. In fact, multitasking is bad for everyone because our brains are not built to deal with more than one complex thing at a time."

This week's guest tells us how to effect actual change in our household distribution of labor by putting new systems in place that work for everyone. Eve Rodsky is author of the new book Fair Play: A Game-Changing Solution For When You Have Too Much To Do (And More Life To Live), and she's showing us all a path forward to create the relationships and households that we deserve. Don't miss this interview!

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