March 15, 2023

It's Not "Nagging"

When women ask repeatedly for something to be done– because it wasn’t done the last time they asked– they’re often rewarded by being told they’re “nagging.” How do we push back on the sexism of this word? And are there more effective ways to get those around us to do their share?

Want to see a mother get mad? Tell her she's "nagging" you after she's been obligated to repeat an entirely reasonable request several times over. And just why is "nagging" a word that's almost exclusively applied to women?

We need the other members of our households to show up and do their share. As the default parents, we own the lists. So do we stop caring whether others like how we ask and remind? Do we enforce a back-to-one where we're not forced to ask repeatedly in the first place?

In this episode Amy and Margaret discuss:

  • The sexism and etymology of the word "nag"
  • What Amy says are the three types of "nagging," and why we should separate them out
  • What to say when our repeated asking is framed as annoying to other people (guess whom it's also annoying, too?)


Now you can Sign up for What Fresh Hell Plus on Supporting Cast! You'll get all episodes ad-free, plus monthly bonus episodes no matter where you listen. What Fresh Hell + is $4.99 a month, or $39.99 a year. Subscribe in two taps! Go to  

Special thanks to our sponsors for this month:

For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning free diapers.

This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Discover your potential with BetterHelp. Visit today to get 10% off your first month. is where you can find the help you need to make it all work for your family. Sign up at now and see why over 3 million families use this amazing platform.

EveryPlate plans meals and delivers pre-portioned ingredients right to your door. Get started for just $1.49 per meal by going to and entering code wfh149.

Hello Fresh is America’s #1 Meal Kit. Go to and use code wfhpod60 for 60% off plus free shipping!

Indeed is the only job site where you're guaranteed to find quality applicants that meet your must-have requirements. Visit to start hiring now. Terms and conditions apply.

LuvBug is the world’s first socio-emotional gaming platform. Go to and sign up for a 7-day free trial, or simply download from the app store and subscribe.

You can try Peloton Tread risk-free with a 30-day home trial. New members only. Not available in remote locations. See additional terms at

Rakuten is an online shopping platform that gives you cash back when you shop at thousands of stores. Start shopping at or get the Rakuten app to start saving today.

Ritual’s Essential for Women 18+ is a multivitamin you can actually trust. Visit to get 10% off during your first 3 months.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit