Jan. 1, 2024

Ask Amy: All My Kids Do Is Fight!

Constant sibling fighting doesn’t last forever. It just feels that way. Let go of feeling guilty your kids aren’t living in perfect harmony. Pretend you’re parent to a dog and a rooster– who expects them to share? Sometimes it’s easiest to separate.

Do your kids fight as much as they breathe? It's as normal as it is infuriating. This week Amy answers a question from our Instagram page:

Man, am I struggling. My kids are four and two and all they do is fight. It’s constant. (The four year old is a girl and the two year old is a boy.) They hit, scream, fight, all morning and night. I try not to react too much, but... you get the idea.

This kind of fighting is definitely in the #itgetsbetter category, but it's an extremely intense season while you're in it. The first thing to let go of is that siblings should get along, love each other, live in perfect harmony. For the next six months or a year, keep them separate! One in the yard, one in the playroom. One coloring in the kitchen, one playing trucks on the windowsill. Lower any expectations you have around what they should be doing together, and the fighting will go down.

Blank-facing is the other arrow in your quiver. Fighting is not interesting to you. If someone is actually hurt, tend to the injured party and give as little attention as possible– even negative attention– to the instigator.

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