Jan. 4, 2023

Is Comparing Our Kids Ever Useful?

It’s hard not to compare kids to their siblings, particularly when their personalities can seem so diametrically opposed. If we notice those differences as parents– and compare our kids, implicitly or explicitly– is that a good thing or a bad thing?

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Why is it siblings so often seem to be total opposites?

If we notice that and lean into comparisons, are we bad parents?

And if our kids really are completely different, are they choosing those divergent paths on purpose? Yes and no. Here's why kids in the same family can turn out so differently, and what it means for us as we parent them.

In this episode we discuss:

  • The definition of "adaptive divergence"
  • The difference between knowing our kids and comparing them
  • Why each of our children, even in the same household, grow up in their own "micro environments"

At the end of the day, we're wired to compare our kids as naturally as breathing. And instead of punishing ourselves for doing so, noticing when we do it and why is a good start. Even if you think you already know everything about your kids, keep your data intake sheets open!


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