Sept. 20, 2021

Ask Margaret - My Spouse and I Disagree About House Rules

When we disagree with our spouses about what our parenting rules should be, it can get fraught quickly. Rather than thinking we have to constantly agree, it's probably a better idea to find a middle ground where each person gets their way sometimes.

Couples disagree on a lot of things, but disagreements about parenting can cause problems in our marriages, and can make raising kids even more challenging than it already is.

Amy says that when she and her spouse disagree about how to handle a parenting moment, they try to return to the motto "Same Team." Being fellow team members is a good way to think about it. Team members don't have to do things the same way -- but what they do is work together towards a common goal.

Another way to address such disagreements is to use Nick North's ranking system for communicating with your partner about the importance of your personal needs and preferences. When we increasing our communication about which of the rules of the household we can be flexible about– and which are non-negotiable to us– we get closer to achieving our overall goal: to lessen the conflicts in our households.

Margaret cites this article in this episode.

Here are some other WFH episodes that deal with this topic:

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