April 8, 2024

DEEP DIVE: Matthew Fray on Strengthening Our Relationships

We’ve all left dishes by the sink. Either that, or we’ve yelled at our partner for doing so. In this episode, Matthew Fray explains how leaving dishes by the sink caused his marriage to implode—hint: it wasn’t just about the dishes.

This month, we're doing a deep dive series into the division of household laborwhy it's often unbalanced, and what we can do about it. You can find the playlist with all of the episodes in the series here.

Matthew Fray is a relationship coach who leans on the lessons of his failed marriage to help others avoid making the same mistakes that he did. He's a 43-year-old single father who is best known for his viral blog post "She Divorced Me Because I Left Dishes by the Sink." Fray is the author of the new book "This is How Your Marriage Ends: A Hopeful Approach to Saving Relationships." Matthew gives us wonderful, poignant insights into how to validate our partners, find out their true needs, and re-establish trust when we've lost it.

In this episode, Matthew, Margaret, and Amy discuss:

  • Why we may not realize we're betraying our partner's trust
  • Matthew's hierarchy of needs in relationships
  • Why couples always have the same fight


Here are links to some of the resources mentioned in the episode:


Here's where you can find Matthew:


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