The familiarity of long-term relationships is the best thing about them- and the hardest. How do we make our marriages work for the long haul? Guest: Belinda Luscombe, author of the new book MARRIAGEOLOGY: THE ART AND SCIENCE OF STAYING TOGETHER.
The familiarity of long-term relationships is the best thing about them. And the worst. When our spouses' chewing or throat-clearing is enough to send us around the bend, how do we make our relationships work for the long haul?
We discuss the latest research with Belinda Luscombe, author of the informative (and hilarious) new book MARRIAGEOLOGY: THE ART AND SCIENCE OF STAYING TOGETHER. After writing about relationships for Time magazine for a decade, Belinda draws on expert advice (and twenty-seven years in the marital trenches) to explain why marriage is better for your health, your finances, your kids, and your happiness.
Luscombe argues that we don’t find our soulmates- we become them:
"This is what love is, actually. Not a fluttery feeling... but a willingness to throw down for that person, a conscious decision to do whatever you can to make that person's life a little better, more fun, less stressful."
Here are links to some of the research and other things we discuss in this episode:
Nick North and his “number system” for avoiding misunderstandings
John Gottman’s "Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse" (that can threaten any marriage)
University of Georgia study which found expressing gratitude toward your spouse was most significant predictor of marital quality
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