Aug. 7, 2019

When Should Kids Tell?

Most little kids have an ironclad sense of right and wrong and are happy to report on whoever isn’t sharing in the dress-up corner. But as they get older, the stakes get higher- for them, for us, for the kid being "told on.” When should kids tell?


Most little kids have an ironclad sense of right and wrong and are most happy to report on whoever might not be sharing in the dress-up corner. But as they get older, the stakes get a lot higher- for them, for us, and for the kid being "told on."

When should kids tell?

In this episode we discuss: the difference between "tattling" and telling, and whether telling kids "no tattling" is causing other problems; the difference between surprises and secrets;

what to do when kids say, "I'm not sure if I should tell you this"; and whom kids should tell when they can't (or won't) tell you.

Here are links to some of the research and writing on the topic discussed in this episode:

Amy Morin for Very Well Family: Why Parents Shouldn't Tell Kids to Keep Secrets

Marisa Cohen for Real Simple: How Much Privacy Should You Give Your Kids?

Valerie Reiss for Great Schools: Does Saying "Don't Tattle" Send Kids the Wrong Message?

Heidi Stevens for the Chicago Tribune: Tattling is bad, except when it's not

Together Against Bullying: Telling vs. Tattling

Teachers Pay Teachers: Tattling vs. Telling

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