Sept. 1, 2026

Overfunctioning

Are overfunctioning and anxiety inextricably intertwined? Can you be the backstop for your entire family without doing too much and feeling too much stress? Here's the framework we're using to decide what has to happen and what can be put aside (for now).

Overfunctioning is usually defined as taking on excess responsibility for other people’s feelings, issues, and tasks. And it's usually presumed to be tied to anxiety. IF someone's overfunctioning, it's either a symptom of or cause of the panic assumed to be lying just underneath.

But are we "overfunctioning" when we're doing our absolutely regular amount of way-too-much as a parent? Does anxiety have to have anything to do with it?

In this episode, we're talking about

  • the stress that comes with being the backstop
  • how to sense overfunctioning in ourselves as a potential barometer of anxiety
  • the MoSCoW method (Must Have, Should Have, Could Have, Won't Have) as a business-world framework that can help all of us discern what absolutely has to happen in a given "timebox"... and what might be able to wait

Here are links to some of the resources mentioned in the episode:


And in response to this week's mailbag, here are a few of our past episodes specifically relevant to single / solo parenting:

What Fresh Hell is co-hosted by Amy Wilson and Margaret Ables.

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