Fresh Take: Dr. Özgür Bolat on the Real Science of Motivating Kids
We reward our kids in order to incentivize them. But does that result in our kids becoming less intrinsically motivated? Dr. Özgür Bolat, author of THE REWARD TRAP, explains how rewards change how kids view activities, and and offers better ways to build autonomy and engagement.
We think of rewarding kids as a surefire way to get the behavior we want. But what if rewards mainly serve to underline our children's instrinsic drive to succeed? Dr. Özgür Bolat, education scientist and author of The Reward Trap: Why Rewards Backfire and the Real Science for Motivating Kids, explains why rewarding kids may actually undermine their motivation in the long run.
As Dr. Bolat explains, there's a difference between motivation and compliance. Rewards can get children to do something, but they don't necessarily create the ownership, engagement, or intrinsic motivation parents actually want.
In this episode, we discuss:
- How rewards can change the way children view an activity
- Hedonic adaptation and why rewards often need to get bigger to have the same effect
- The connection between rewards, praise, and controlling parenting
- How autonomy-enhancing parenting differs from control
- Why family chores can help children develop a sense of responsibility and prosocial values
- Mastery orientation vs. performance orientation, and how each affects children's anxiety and motivation
- Why focusing too heavily on grades, competition, and achievement can create performance anxiety
- How parents can encourage curiosity and help kids find motivation even in subjects they don't initially enjoy
- The role of flow in learning and why children become deeply engaged when a task matches their skill level
- Why differentiated learning matters—and what happens when work is too easy or too difficult
- How rewards and competition in school can contribute to learned helplessness
- Why understanding big concepts can actually help children remember facts and information
- Dr. Bolat's PEACE model for building connection with children
- How getting curious about the reason behind a child's behavior can reveal what they actually need
- Why a homework problem may be a symptom of a much bigger issue around fear, judgment, or connection
Here's where you can find Dr. Bolat:
- https://ozgurbolat.co.uk/
- @dr.ozgurbolat on IG
- https://ozgurbolat.substack.com/
- Buy THE REWARD TRAP: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9798893961805
What Fresh Hell is co-hosted by Amy Wilson and Margaret Ables.
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