June 30, 2021

Birth Order: Can We Fight It?

We can see clearly the effects of birth order both in our own families and in our families of origin. But is that a bad thing? Is it a thing to fight back against? And is it a problem if our own birth order has shaped who we are and how we parent?

We see birth order play out pretty clearly, both in our own families and in our families of origin. But is it a bad thing? Is it a thing to fight back against? Is there a way to make the older child less stressed, and the baby maybe a little *more* motivated? And is it a problem if our own birth order has shaped who we are as adults and how we parent?

We think the answer is: not really. These stereotypes are so ingrained because the effects of birth order are real. But that's not to say the things that result are all negative, or completely determinative, or that your middle kid is doomed to a life of unhappiness just because she was unlucky enough to get a younger sibling.

Still, awareness of the effects of birth order seems important, if only to catch ourselves when we're inadvertently reinforcing those roles. That's when we can give the youngest a little more responsibility, the oldest a little less– and let the middle kid pick what’s for dinner once in a while.

Interested in hearing more? Check out two of our past episodes:

"Birth Order- Parenting Each Child Best (More or Less)"

"Middle Kids"


Two other podcasts we're loving right now:

StrollerCoaster: A Parenting Podcast is created by Munchkin, the most beloved baby brand in the world. Hosted by Faith Salie, this podcast is about the ups and downs of parenting life. Follow or subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts!

Home.Made. podcast: inside every home, there’s a story. Hosted by Stephanie Foo (This American Life, Snap Judgment), each episode of this 10-part series explores the meaning of home and what it can teach us about ourselves and each other. Follow or subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts!

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