Find yourself stuck in the kitchen 24/7 when family comes to visit? You’re allowed to feel overwhelmed and even a little resentful, even if you’re really happy they came. Here’s how to reset expectations so you can truly enjoy your visitors.
Find yourself stuck in the kitchen 24/7 when family comes to visit? You’re allowed to feel overwhelmed and even a little resentful, even if you’re really happy they came.
Jenna emailed us to ask:
Since both of you have big families, how does everyone get fed when you get together for a few days? Do you get takeout for every meal? Do people take turns cooking?
I am the only person in my husband's family who can cook, so I end up doing all the cooking when we get together, and I end up exhausted and don't get to spend time with everyone.
Resetting expectations around who's doing the cooking and cleanup can be a little tricky. If you're a do-it-all hostess who really does make it look easy, you haven't been sending clear signals that it's hard.
Amy gives tips in this episode about the systems that work when her extended family group gets together. But if you've been heading up meal prep because you're the "only one who can cook," a resetting of your own expectations may be required as well. If you're chopping fresh herbs for Monday night's dinner, and then your brother orders pizza for Tuesday night? And everyone gets fed? Take the win. If there are a few too many hot-dog lunches and everything you have been doing is more appreciated in retrospect, so much the better.
You deserve to enjoy time with family as much as everyone else does, so have the difficult conversation. It can be really refreshing to lay down some of the burdens we shoulder, and see the world continue to revolve, and realize no one was really asking us to do it all in the first place.
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