Feb. 10, 2021

Setting Boundaries

Boundaries aren’t just for relationships that have already been damaged. Healthy boundaries with our partners, friends, and extended family are what make long-term relationships possible. Here’s how to set boundaries early and often.

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It often becomes clear to us where our boundaries should have been set only after those lines have been crossed and left far behind. But whether it's with overbearing extended family members or partners who leave socks on the floor, how do we create effective boundaries? Especially after it's been established that we're not very good at it, and especially in a world that doesn't very much like women who aren't afraid to set them?

In this episode we discuss why boundaries should be set early and often– and not just in problematic relationships, either. Healthy boundaries with our spouses, partners, and co-workers are what make long-term relationships possible. And don't forget positive boundaries. Want to start setting aside more money each month? Having one date night a week, or one weekend morning when you get to sleep in? It starts with saying so.

Living in a pandemic has made it unavoidable: we all have to say out loud what feels safe for us and our families. We can seize that opportunity to practice the difficult conversations. Those on the other sides of those conversations are entitled to their reactions and opinions. But that doesn't necessarily mean that setting the boundary was wrong.

Here are links to some writing on the topic that we discuss in this episode:

Fatherly: 16 Tips For Creating Healthy Boundaries With Your Extended Family

Mark Manson: Boundaries

Elizabeth Earnshaw for Mind Body Green: A Therapist Explains 6 Things People Get Wrong About Setting Boundaries

Sarah Saweikis for Medium: Scared to Set Boundaries? How to Set Boundaries to Improve Your Relationships and Increase Peace of Mind

Brianna Wiest: The Honest Truth About Why Some People Can't Set Boundaries

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