March 14, 2018

Getting Your Kids To Talk To You

Getting our kids to talk to us is never easy (unless we’re 15 minutes late for an appointment, car keys in hand). Since “How was school today?” is apparently the worst thing Mom can ask, here’s what actually works to get kids talking- at every age.

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Getting our kids to talk to us is never easy (unless we’re standing with car keys in hand, front door ajar, 15 minutes late for an appointment). Based upon empirical evidence, “How was school today?” is the most annoying question a mom could ever ask. So why bother trying?

 Because Jennifer Kolari, author of Connected Parenting: How to Raise a Great Kid, says getting our kids to open up is part of our job description:

It’s our job as parents to help our kids sort through and process the things that happen to them during the day. “They don’t have the higher-order thinking to do it on their own yet.

In this episode we lay out what gets our kids to talk– at every age and stage.

Margaret says you have to “talk the talk that arrives.”

But Amy comes at it armed with research; if her ninth-grader wants to talk NBA draft, she’s ready to lean in.

Both of us plan to work on what Marie Roker Jones calls “listening with the intent to understand.”

Here’s links to some research and hilarious takes on this topic that we mention in this episode:

Alice Bradley for Lifehacker Offspring: Stop Asking Your Kid About Their Day

Marie Roker-Jones for Good Men Project: 10 Ways to Get Your Son to Open Up and Talk to You

Clare Gagne for Today’s Parent: Age-By-Age Guide To Getting Your Kid To Talk

from American Girl: Conversation Starters To Get Your Girl To Talk About Her Day(to our surprise, “What emoji best describes the day you had?” was a great question!)

Liz Evans for Huffington Post: 25 Ways to Ask Your Kids ‘So How Was School Today?’ Without Asking Them ‘So How Was School Today?’

The Ungame 

…and some perfect viewing for you and your teenager: Maddie Corman’s wonderful short film How Was Your Day?

How do you get your kids to open up? Tell us in the comments!

Here’s one way we get our kids chatting with us– cooking together. We’ve both been pleasantly surprised at how HelloFresh has turned dinnertime prep into something our kids love to participate in. We follow the easy (super-easy) directions, chop along together, and then we all sit down together as a family to try something new (and maybe even talk about it).

Get $30 off your first HelloFresh delivery by going to and entering the code mother30.



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