Ask Margaret: How Do I Handle Devices on Playdates?

Do we have the authority to keep other kids off their own devices in our home? Margaret explains how she handles the rules around devices when her kids' friends come over.

A listener asks:

"How have y’all handled other kids' devices in your home? My daughter who is nine has neighborhood friends come over most days. There is a girl who is 11. She has an iPhone and has little to no restrictions. She’s a nice kid with a difficult home life so I don’t want to ban her. Is it overstepping to ask any device that comes in sit on our kitchen table 'til time to go?"

Margaret says that it's totally within your control to decide how devices are used in your own house. She doesn't let her own kids use devices behind closed doors, even though there has been pushback on that rule.

Additionally, she doesn't snoop on her kids' devices but may check out a device that's charging downstairs and have a convo with a kid if she spots something inappropriate.

You can definitely make it a rule that devices go into a basket at the beginning of a playdate, and if kids give pushback, you don't have to kick them out, but you can limit them to the kitchen or living room where you can keep an eye on them.

Don't feel bad about keeping a hard line, even if you get comments or eyerolls from kids. You'll feel much better if you don't have to constantly worry about what kids might be doing on their devices in your house.

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