Nov. 22, 2021

Ask Amy - Can I Really Love My Second Child As Much As The First?

When moms have a second baby it’s common for them to fear how it will change their relationship with their first child. And whether they’ll have enough love to give them both. Trust us: you will. And you’ll give that older kid the gift of a new bond.

It's a common fear for mothers expecting their second child: How can I possibly love this new baby as much as I loved my first? Here's how a listener in our Facebook group put it:

I have a two-year-old and I'm pregnant with my second. I'm having extreme feelings of guilt on how this new baby will disrupt my two-year-old's life. And I'm really worried about how I could possibly love them both equally. From what I have heard feeling this way is normal, but I can't help but feel a little sense of dread when I think about adding a second kid to our family.

Will it lower my standards of parenting?

Will I lose my patience more easily?

Will I love one more than the other?

Will this second baby ruin my relationship with my son?

In this Question of the Week episode, Amy answers these questions: it won't lower your parenting standards, but it will almost certainly change them. And rather than ruining your son's bond with his primary caregiver, it will create an entirely new and separate bond, one that is likely to be among the most long-lasting of his life. There's much to celebrate and look forward to, and even if you can't see it yet, the new baby will bring untold delight to your family's lives. Even your toddler's. Trust us. is a boutique marketplace featuring the latest in women’s fashion, accessories, home decor, children’s clothing, and more. By shopping at, you support small businesses, 1500 of which are women-owned. And you will not believe the prices! Visit

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