What Fresh Hell: Laughing in the Face of Motherhood

a podcast with Margaret Ables and Amy Wilson

Month: May 2017

Episode 17: Yelling Less

When it comes to mom-yelling we hold these truths to be self-evident: never yelling is not possible; less yelling is desirable.

Let’s be real: there are times when every parent’s got to yell. Here’s how Lisa Belkin put it in The New York Times:

When all else fails, a few claps of oral thunder certainly show that Mom or Dad has had it, that humans can be pushed just so far, and this is what it looks like when you’ve pushed them too much.

But although we might agree that a little bit of hollering has its place, we’d both like to do less yelling in our homes, due to two other unavoidable parenting truths:

• The more you yell, the more you have to yell.

• The more you yell, the more your kids will yell.

In this episode, we discuss what we yell about, and then what to do about it. There’s usually an easier solution to what you’re yelling about than yelling, or at least a quieter one. Parenting expert Carolyn Dalgiesh, author of The Sensory Child Gets Organized, calls it a “workaround for the source of tension.”  In Amy’s house, for example, an extra set of toothbrushes in the downstairs bathroom cut the morning yelling by half.

And sometimes we have to face the fact that parenting without yelling takes a little more effort than parenting with. As Margaret’s sister-in-law likes to say,

Really saying ‘no’ means getting off the couch.

Here’s some links to other takes on the topic we discuss in this episode:

Episode 16: Sibling Rivalry

 

 

Sibling rivalry: harmless rite of passage? Or everything that made you the neurotic adult you are today?

The inevitable part of it seems clear. Dr. Ron Taffel says siblings are like lion cubs, born with an intense and innate need to tussle. But if that fighting it’s normal, it isn’t always benign.

So when should a parent step in? And what works when she finally does?

 

Here’s some links that we discuss in this episode:

Is the sibling in-fighting driving you batty at your house? Did you survive some memorable squabbling in your own childhood home? Tell us in the comments!

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