dividing the workload

In any home, there’s the workload everyone can see: the dirty dishes, the broken crayons under the dining room table, the laundry to be folded. And in most of our homes, that workload is divided more equitably than it was in the homes where we grew up.

But then there’s the workload that lives in a parent’s head, the running list of things we hope we won’t forget: the permission slips and prescriptions. The birthday presents and batteries.

And there’s still usually just one parent who’s in charge of THAT.

And if you’re reading this right now? We’re going to guess it’s you.

In your household you’re the one that blogger Mblazoned calls “The Default Parent,”  and while we hasten to append  #notallmen to what we’re about to say…

studies indicate that whether the mother works outside the home or not, all this “stuff” usually remains firmly in the mom’s pile.

And it’s a big pile.

We have a choice: to either change that dynamic, or leave it the way it is but stop feeling resentful about it.

Margaret and me? We’re starting with the moms in the mirror. Make that change.

In this episode we discuss:

•how to make the “invisible workload” more visible

•the power of the Sunday evening calendar meeting

•why we’re going to start saying “thank you” more often

•why letting go of the “why am I always the one who does everything” monologue is harder than we care to admit

Here’s links to some must-reads on this topic:

sociologist Lisa Wade for Money Magazine, on “The Invisible Workload that Drags Women Down” 

mblazoned for Huffington Post: “Are You the Default Parent?”

Ellen Seidman’s Mother’s Day love letter to herself:  “I Am the One Who Notices We Are Running Out of Toilet Paper, And I Rock”

Lisa Belkin for the New York Times: “When Mom and Dad Share It All” 

Are you the one who’s in charge of the snow boots and pipe cleaners in your house? Tell us in the comments!